Posts (page 2)

I applied for this program in London that would provide me with a job after graduation. Its through USC and while I wasn't 100% into the program I was starting to get really excited. There are three councils (or Burroughs) in England (Knowsley, Reading and Warwickshire) that are hiring social workers. There are around 29 people applying for 18-21 positions.

Last night at school there was a meeting about the program and they started talking about the fees associated with the program. They are $4,000. Which is a retarded amount of money, considering that they cover the negotiating fees, and the program coordinator flying over the three times in the first six months. Sorry, but no. Not only that, but they are demanding the money before the end of April. If an accepted applicant does not pay the money, their offer would be rescinded and they would be out of the job.

If I had four grand laying around, it would be paying off bills. I'm a grad student whose only source of income is work study. I have my husband who is only income is disability.

So the London program is off the table. Unless they offer me some sort of full scholarship, which they probably won't, there is no way I can come up with that amount of money in two months. Everybody I know is going to be excited, so it won't matter about my disappointment.

This doesn't mean I'm not about looking for jobs out of state or even out of the country. It just means that USC is not getting any more money out of me. But I'm still bummed.

At the end of the tunnel is very visible.

I start school on Tuesday. Guess what? It's my LAST semester! Graduation is in May...

My schedule is pretty rad this semester. Here are my classes:

Policy--analyzing health policy in the US and abroad.
Leadership--eh class, not really looking all that forward to it, but apparently I have a professor who makes it easy.
Spanish--learning basic Spanish terms for social work practice. I'll be a LOT more marketable after this is over.
Psychopathology--basically it's learning the DSM and how to correctly diagnose people.

Plus my internship. I started my county clinic rotation the other day and while it's overwhelming and a little unnerving, its going to be awesome. At SPECTRUM my field instructor (who has really been more amazing than I thought possible out of a supervisor) has told me that we can focus our work together on professional development and integration of theory and practice. Which may sound like a lot of psychobabble or whatever, but it's quite important. I need to be able to go into an interview (holy shit... I have to start interviewing soon!) and say that I perform intakes, psychosocial assessments, diagnose, formulate treatment plans, come from an Erikson theoretical approach and so on and on and on.

I got my student loan refund check on Friday (the last time I have to do that too...) and paid off some bills, which felt really nice. Not having certain debt hanging over my head has been a little relieving, to say the least. Having more than $10 in my checking account has also been a nice feeling.

Green Bay won their game yesterday. I really effing hope the Giants can squeak by in Dallas today, because if that's the case, I think that Green Bay will play in the Superbowl, which would make me one happy cheesehead.

That's it for now. I have to go do laundry at the laundrymat and go see my best friend and my goddaughter.

Seriously? It's hard to believe that just as soon as it begun, 2007 is over.

I'm very much looking forward to 2008. I graduate in May! I know it's pretty much all I talk about around here, but really, it's such a huge milestone for me that it's my big "set-point" for the year.

We've had Dodger for almost a year now. He's brought so much joy into our house, that even though it's been rough with him medically, he's by far the best thing that happened to us in the 16 months since Aaron was re-diagnosed.

I saw "Juno" last night. So good! And the soundtrack is bomb and currently downloading on my iTunes.

There is a 24 marathon on TV right now. Season 5 which was pretty GD good. It's the final 12 hours.

Happy New Year's, voxers. Here's hoping that 2008 is a great year for everybody.

Cheers!

I'm feeling a little gun shy around these parts. Its like I'm seeing my summer camp boyfriend for the first time since last summer and we know we're going to kiss but there's all that pre-kiss tension in the air.

What's going on my fellow voxers? I'm sorry I've been such a bad poster. Allow me to give you a very long update in a multitude of paragraphs.

School is over for the semester. My grades are okay (2 A's, a B+ and a B) and I'm looking forward with giddy anticipation to the next semester--which is going to be my last! I'm taking some pretty rad classes (Spanish for social workers, psychopathology and the DSM) and starting my first week back at field, I'm beginning a new rotation. I'm going to be doing psychosocial assessments at a county clinic for people living with HIV/AIDS. I'm really excited about the new experience, but I'm really nervous because the doctor who runs the clinic is all over the place and really involved with everything. It's going to be an interesting time.

Aaron is doing well. Or at least that's what I keep telling people when they ask. He's had a really rough week this week and I'm hopeful that the next year will be better. I'm really worried that the next year is going to be bad in regards to his health. I'm scared about what is going to happen. I'm hoping for the best but at the same time....I don't know.

Therapy is going well. I'm starting to dig down deep down into what's really going on in my head and my heart and I'm really beginning to figure shit out. It's awesome. I highly recommend it if you've never tried. I mean, at the worst, you get to know yourself a little bit better. At the best, you figure shit out and lead a better life.

Christmas was mellow. We got a butt-load of gift cards and today I turned those into a new HDTV. It's beautiful. I love TV. It's sad, but it's my addiction. I don't judge you, don't judge me! LOST on HD and 24 (mmmmm...Keifer) on HD are going to be AWESOME!

One of my best friends came out to me last night. I've always thought they might be homosexual, but now I know for sure. I still love this person but I'm just really hopeful they'll come out to their family because it makes me sad to know that this person is leading two different lives.

I think that's all for now. Oh yeah, and Dodger is getting better too. I have to go and get some sleep.

I'm here. I'm alive. I've just been really busy with school. And work. And therapy. And life.

Updates and real posts to come after Tuesday. :)

What are your irrational fears? 
Submitted by Dan Culhane.  

1. Driving next to big rigs on the freeway.

2. Small heights. I think it's because I'm actually afraid of breaking a bone.

3. Earthquakes. And I live in Southern California. And lived through Northridge. Its about time we had another big one, it's been too long.

4. Being alone. Although I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of losing those that I love.

5. Being in the ocean when it's high tide. I hate giant waves. I'd much rather be in a pool.

List five reasons (at least) why you are awesome.
Submitted by goobers18.

(In no particular order)

1. I can talk sports. Not like, "Wow, turn the football game off" but can rattle off sports scores, make bets, and look forward to watching games. I feel bad that I only went to three baseball games last season, and only one USC football game this semester.

2. I'm funny.

3. I'm a good listener.

4. I make a MEAN pan of chicken enchiladas.

5. I'm smart.

6. I'm good in bed (I am!).

7. I can admire a gorgeous looking woman.

8. I am not one of those girls who is all consumed with fashion and spends tons of money on clothes.

9. I go to USC. And that is AWESOME.

10. I'm a really good friend who will have your back in (almost) any case.

What's your musical horoscope?  (Put your player on shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that come up.) 

1. Get your shit together by Beth Hart
2. Let's stay together by Al Green
3. Lonely People by Augustana
4. Time and Time Again by Counting Crows
5. Heart of Mine by Bob Dylan
6. All Along the Watchtower by Dave Matthews Band
7. And She Was by Talking Heads
8. Tired of You by Foo Fighters
9. Gratitude by Ani DiFranco
10. If She knew what she wants by The Bangles

(sigh)

It's 2:20 am and I can't sleep. Thanksgiving was wonderful, my turkey was AWESOME and everybody seemed to have a good time.

We're leaving for Vegas in a few hours. Hopefully I can sleep in the car. Have a great weekend--eat some sandwiches, do some shopping, and still remember what you should be thankful for even though the official day is over. :)

Its no secret that I'm tired. That everything in my life is exhausting and I am running on empty is nothing new. But what is new is that I've finally started doing something about it.

I've been saying for a long time that I need to start going to therapy. Last week I started. I'm seeing a former professor of mine from CSUF who recently got her psyD and has retired and is doing private practice (but not in the shitty "Grey's Anatomy" spin-off way). She once offered me pro-bono services so I finally decided to take her up on it.

I feel like my one little 50-minute hour each week is a mini mental vacation. I have the chance to really talk about my anger, and sadness and the drama going on in my life. She is helping me to figure my shit out, while giving me the safe space to cry, be angry, whatever it is that I need to be.

It's such a wonderful thing. I don't have to build that trust in her, I am already very comfortable with her. I don't need to give her the back story on my life, because she already knows me so well. This is by far the best thing I've done for myself in a really long time. And it's all for me--I don't get to share with anybody else. I don't have to feel guilty about taking the time for me, because I've realized that I am at my breaking point. I can't take anything else on in my life anymore.

I'm going to try and get most of my finals started in some way this weekend. Next week is Thanksgiving and then we're going to Vegas for the weekend. I'm flying back Monday morning at 7am, and going straight from the airport, to my home for a quick minute and then I'm off to my internship. That day is really going to be hard to deal with.

Oh yeah...and in six months (from TODAY!) it's graduation. I. Am. So. FUCKING. Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!