15 posts tagged “life”

Today was my last day at USC.

At the end of the tunnel is very visible.

I start school on Tuesday. Guess what? It's my LAST semester! Graduation is in May...

My schedule is pretty rad this semester. Here are my classes:

Policy--analyzing health policy in the US and abroad.
Leadership--eh class, not really looking all that forward to it, but apparently I have a professor who makes it easy.
Spanish--learning basic Spanish terms for social work practice. I'll be a LOT more marketable after this is over.
Psychopathology--basically it's learning the DSM and how to correctly diagnose people.

Plus my internship. I started my county clinic rotation the other day and while it's overwhelming and a little unnerving, its going to be awesome. At SPECTRUM my field instructor (who has really been more amazing than I thought possible out of a supervisor) has told me that we can focus our work together on professional development and integration of theory and practice. Which may sound like a lot of psychobabble or whatever, but it's quite important. I need to be able to go into an interview (holy shit... I have to start interviewing soon!) and say that I perform intakes, psychosocial assessments, diagnose, formulate treatment plans, come from an Erikson theoretical approach and so on and on and on.

I got my student loan refund check on Friday (the last time I have to do that too...) and paid off some bills, which felt really nice. Not having certain debt hanging over my head has been a little relieving, to say the least. Having more than $10 in my checking account has also been a nice feeling.

Green Bay won their game yesterday. I really effing hope the Giants can squeak by in Dallas today, because if that's the case, I think that Green Bay will play in the Superbowl, which would make me one happy cheesehead.

That's it for now. I have to go do laundry at the laundrymat and go see my best friend and my goddaughter.

I'm feeling a little gun shy around these parts. Its like I'm seeing my summer camp boyfriend for the first time since last summer and we know we're going to kiss but there's all that pre-kiss tension in the air.

What's going on my fellow voxers? I'm sorry I've been such a bad poster. Allow me to give you a very long update in a multitude of paragraphs.

School is over for the semester. My grades are okay (2 A's, a B+ and a B) and I'm looking forward with giddy anticipation to the next semester--which is going to be my last! I'm taking some pretty rad classes (Spanish for social workers, psychopathology and the DSM) and starting my first week back at field, I'm beginning a new rotation. I'm going to be doing psychosocial assessments at a county clinic for people living with HIV/AIDS. I'm really excited about the new experience, but I'm really nervous because the doctor who runs the clinic is all over the place and really involved with everything. It's going to be an interesting time.

Aaron is doing well. Or at least that's what I keep telling people when they ask. He's had a really rough week this week and I'm hopeful that the next year will be better. I'm really worried that the next year is going to be bad in regards to his health. I'm scared about what is going to happen. I'm hoping for the best but at the same time....I don't know.

Therapy is going well. I'm starting to dig down deep down into what's really going on in my head and my heart and I'm really beginning to figure shit out. It's awesome. I highly recommend it if you've never tried. I mean, at the worst, you get to know yourself a little bit better. At the best, you figure shit out and lead a better life.

Christmas was mellow. We got a butt-load of gift cards and today I turned those into a new HDTV. It's beautiful. I love TV. It's sad, but it's my addiction. I don't judge you, don't judge me! LOST on HD and 24 (mmmmm...Keifer) on HD are going to be AWESOME!

One of my best friends came out to me last night. I've always thought they might be homosexual, but now I know for sure. I still love this person but I'm just really hopeful they'll come out to their family because it makes me sad to know that this person is leading two different lives.

I think that's all for now. Oh yeah, and Dodger is getting better too. I have to go and get some sleep.

What are your irrational fears? 
Submitted by Dan Culhane.  

1. Driving next to big rigs on the freeway.

2. Small heights. I think it's because I'm actually afraid of breaking a bone.

3. Earthquakes. And I live in Southern California. And lived through Northridge. Its about time we had another big one, it's been too long.

4. Being alone. Although I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of losing those that I love.

5. Being in the ocean when it's high tide. I hate giant waves. I'd much rather be in a pool.

List five reasons (at least) why you are awesome.
Submitted by goobers18.

(In no particular order)

1. I can talk sports. Not like, "Wow, turn the football game off" but can rattle off sports scores, make bets, and look forward to watching games. I feel bad that I only went to three baseball games last season, and only one USC football game this semester.

2. I'm funny.

3. I'm a good listener.

4. I make a MEAN pan of chicken enchiladas.

5. I'm smart.

6. I'm good in bed (I am!).

7. I can admire a gorgeous looking woman.

8. I am not one of those girls who is all consumed with fashion and spends tons of money on clothes.

9. I go to USC. And that is AWESOME.

10. I'm a really good friend who will have your back in (almost) any case.

Its no secret that I'm tired. That everything in my life is exhausting and I am running on empty is nothing new. But what is new is that I've finally started doing something about it.

I've been saying for a long time that I need to start going to therapy. Last week I started. I'm seeing a former professor of mine from CSUF who recently got her psyD and has retired and is doing private practice (but not in the shitty "Grey's Anatomy" spin-off way). She once offered me pro-bono services so I finally decided to take her up on it.

I feel like my one little 50-minute hour each week is a mini mental vacation. I have the chance to really talk about my anger, and sadness and the drama going on in my life. She is helping me to figure my shit out, while giving me the safe space to cry, be angry, whatever it is that I need to be.

It's such a wonderful thing. I don't have to build that trust in her, I am already very comfortable with her. I don't need to give her the back story on my life, because she already knows me so well. This is by far the best thing I've done for myself in a really long time. And it's all for me--I don't get to share with anybody else. I don't have to feel guilty about taking the time for me, because I've realized that I am at my breaking point. I can't take anything else on in my life anymore.

I'm going to try and get most of my finals started in some way this weekend. Next week is Thanksgiving and then we're going to Vegas for the weekend. I'm flying back Monday morning at 7am, and going straight from the airport, to my home for a quick minute and then I'm off to my internship. That day is really going to be hard to deal with.

Oh yeah...and in six months (from TODAY!) it's graduation. I. Am. So. FUCKING. Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First, for accountability:

Breakfast (6 total):
Oatmeal- 3pts
NF Latte from Starbucks- 3pts

Lunch (7):
Leftovers from last night- 7pts

Dinner (7 total):
Chips- 4 pts
Smoothie- 2 pts
Meatball- 1pt

AP:
Walking-2

Its been kind of one of those days where nothing goes really good, but at the same time nothing really goes bad either. I managed to finish off my research paper and my partner is adding his section to it. I didn't have any clients at my internship today, so I was kind of bored most of the day.

My tummy has been acting up lately, making all sorts of funky noises at the most inopportune moments. Like during the quiet moments of a staff meeting. Ugh...I'm hoping that some herbal pills I picked up today at a local health food store help (although so far no go).

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I have to be down in Lake Forest before 8, up in Long Beach by 11, and school from 1-820. I may bring my workout clothes so I can hit the gym on my dinner break. Aaron has chemotherapy tomorrow and he hasn't been feeling good this week, so I'm a little worried about how that is going to go. He just has been so bad about taking his vitamins lately and I know that the next step of this disease is coming, and I'm in no way prepared to deal with what that may mean.

Okay...I'm out of here. "Private Practice" isn't too bad, but my Nate Fisher (I mean Peter Krause) is back on TV soon. I think I'm going to DVR it and go to bed.

Can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

There were TWO sigalerts on the 405 this morning. The first one on my on-ramp (405/Cherry) and one at the 405/710, where a vehicle was overturned.

I was driving up to USC for a meeting at 10. I got to USC at 9:55 (after getting off the 405 and driving to the 91). Well, whoever scheduled this morning's meeting did a shitty job of planning. The Emmy's are tomorrow night at the Shrine Auditorium (which is right across the street from my parking structure) and there was a marathon of some sort going on by school. All of the major roads getting to USC were blocked.

Finally I said screw it and drove home.

I'm supposed to drive to Ventura in a few hours to visit friends who moved up there recently. Luckily I won't be driving alone, so I'll have friends to keep me company.

Time to read. Have a traffic-free weekend, Voxers!

(Oh yeah...and go and congratulate Jess on completing her marathon training!)

Having shitty credit sucks. Having people say they will report something to the credit bureaus and then NOT do it sucks even more.

At least I was able to problem solve today instead of just having something happen to me and not be able to do anything about it.

Now I need to get gas in the hog and go to work. I can't wait for Hawaii and for school to start. One more year of this and then my real life will begin.

It all started out last night after our research class was over. I went out for dinner with D and N since last night was our last class. We initially went out for sushi but the all-you can eat place in Laguna closed by the time we got there. We decided to head to the Yardhouse at Irvine Spectrum. We got a table and some drinks and started kevetching about the semester, boys, and life in general. After D and I had a second round, this guy turns to us from the bar and asks if he could buy us a round. We politely declined and then he proceeded to tell us that he was home from Iraq and how he had been in the desert for the last seven months and just wanted to talk.

We invited him over to our table, and being the social workers that we are we began asking him questions about his time in the military. Come to find out, he had just left his THIRD middle east tour (one in Afghanistan, two in Iraq) and was planning on volunteering to go back with his squad in December. He confided in us that he had been diagnosed with PTSD and received a Purple Heart for being wounded in battle.

It was a very random experience and on our way to the car and back to school so I could get dropped off, the three of us lamented that this kid was espousing all of this brainwashed bullshit ("I'm fighting for everybody in this bar, because I want to make sure we fight them over there and not over here") and was so excited to go back to fight in this war which has been perpetuated and built upon by lie after lie. It took a lot of restraint for us to keep our political views out of the conversation, but like I said to my friends, I didn't want to minimize the sacrifice he and his friends had made (his platoon lost 100 men, and had over 200 wounded out of a group of 1000).

Today was my last day of class at USC (for this year, anyways). I'm sad because next year I'll be at the LA campus and won't get to see many of the really good friends I've made this year down in Orange County. I am hopeful that we'll all stay in touch, but I'm realistic that it may not happen.

And right now I'm sitting in the oncologist's office while Aaron gets his first round of chemotherapy. His next round is in three weeks, but in the meantime he's going to be taking chemo orally twice a day between now and then. I'm very scared about what lies in front of us, but I am glad that I'm on summer break so I'll be able to be fully there for him in a way that I haven't been able to because of school this year.

And with that I need to get crackin' on some finals. Keep us in your thoughts/prayers/good wishes, if you don't mind.